My First Mother’s Day

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Guest blog written by Jenica Parcell –

I’m overwhelmed at what it took to get to my first Mother’s Day last year, mostly simply overwhelmed with gratitude for all that I have experienced, all that I have learned, and all that I continue to get to experience with Harris and Goldie in my world. You tend to forget all of the hard and remember the joy. That’s the beauty of motherhood. Three IUI’s and three rounds of IVF, and it was all worth it.

While laying in bed the other day as I tried to get in a nap while they napped, I thought, “these are the days.” These are the days of sweet smiles of pure joy when my babies see their mama after nap time. These are the days of chubby baby thighs and squeals of delight when they hear the bath water running. These are the days of holding them in my arms as I rock them to sleep when teething doesn’t feel so good and being the one that comforts them the most. These are bottle washing, diaper changing and extra laundry-doing days. I’m living in the good ‘ol days right here and now. The gift that infertility gave me was that I appreciate it in the here and now. I recognize it right now in this very moment. I won’t have to look back and say that I wish I had appreciated it more because I am fully aware of how wonderful and fleeting it is right in this moment.

This Mother’s Day, I think of the mothers that have lost their precious babies or perhaps haven’t had the opportunity yet to feel the flutter of a baby move in their bellies with anticipation. Those mothers that long so deeply to hold a tiny, precious soul in their arms and commit their lives to protecting that beautiful gift of life. I’ve been there, and I appreciate their stories and the bravery that it takes to share them. I think each life has a significant purpose, and we can gain wisdom through other’s stories even if we haven’t experienced it ourselves.

I think of all the gifts that my babies have given me and I can say with certainty that I didn’t know true joy until I had the opportunity to sacrifice and give and do all that I could to care for my them and to get them here. It was worth it. The difficult pregnancy, the long nights in the beginning, the recovery. Mothers say that they would do it all over again and again a million times, and it’s cliche, but when you have experienced the joy that your children bring, you agree and would do it too without a second thought. Goldie and Harris have etched in my soul with each little precious moment what’s most important in life; family.

Motherhood is everything; it’s hard and it’s tough and it’s tears and it’s bags under your eyes. It’s motherhood even when your baby isn’t here yet, because you know that your baby is meant for you at some point, somewhere. You can almost see their hair and smell their skin and hear their laugh. Almost. I’ve been there. It’s pushing through and finding that inner strength that you may not have even been aware of. And when they are here, and that will day will come, it’s smiles and kisses, and its belly laughs over the silliest sounds and making up songs that have never been sung, but were somewhere in your heart all along, waiting for them.

I am humbled and in awe of the sacred role that I have been privileged to step into, and I am extending my arms in the warmest embrace for those mothers who may not have children in their arms…yet. Those mama’s hearts that never give up. That is a true mother in every sense of the word. Keep fighting, mamas.